This paper is based on research carried out in Irish Primary Schools. The starting point for the study was the concept of assessment as a message system in school; a message system that is at times explicit and at other times implicit. Nevertheless it is the message system that enables pupils to figure out what it means to know and learn in this school. I wanted to examine the nature of the relationship between assessment practices that are part of routine school and classroom practice and the views of learning and knowledge that are constructed by pupils in these schools. In keeping with the qualitative nature of the study, metaphors are used to present the findings. This paper explores the implications for teaching and learning when assessment practices are understood as consumerism and connoisseurship.