Discourses in higher education and the wider academic communities have identified a stark underrepresentation of individuals with chronic conditions, disabilities and/or neurodivergence (Brown and Leigh, 2018). Statistical reports (Institute for Employment Studies, 2019; HESA, 2017, 2020; The Royal Society, 2014) highlight that the rates of disclosure fall at particular transition points, such as from undergraduate to postgraduate, from doctoral to postdoctoral researchers and from junior to senior academics. Literature considers the doctoral journey, but the role of disabilities, chronic illnesses and/or neurodivergence play in navigating the doctoral journey are not mentioned, although the decision to disclose a condition is relevant for individuals’ emotional wellbeing and the subsequent managing of the conditions. For this symposium, I report on a research project that aimed at gaining better understanding of the lived experiences of doctoral students regarding their navigation of the doctoral journey under the influence of disabilities/chronic illnesses and/or neurodivergence as well as at gaining insights into performativity and the social life of disabled/chronically ill/neurodivergent doctoral students in contemporary higher education contexts. This in-depth qualitative research was formulated as an Embodied Inquiry (Leigh and Brown, 2021) with data having been collected via interviews and through participant-supplied photographs. The study relates to 11 participants, 9 women and 2 men, of whom 5 women were long-established members of academia, whereas the other 6 participants were doctoral students or early careers researchers. The disabilities/chronic illnesses and/or neurodivergence reported by the 11 participants included: physical disabilities, mental health issues, formally diagnosed conditions, and symptoms associated with disabilities/chronic illnesses and/or neurodivergence. Thematic analysis (Braun and Clarke, 2006, 2019) highlighted that despite many improvements and developments over decades, academic buildings still are widely inaccessible, but that inaccessibility is fluid depending on how busy the building is. Postgraduate research students are careful about disclosing conditions, but they are often forced to disclose specific needs in order to access support. When postgraduate research students unwillingly share details about their illnesses and or neurodivergence, they feel significantly more marginalised than students who have taken an active decision to disclose. Ultimately, disabled, chronically ill and/or neurodivergent people are socially and emotionally lonely amongst the masses.

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