Becoming a teacher is a potentially bumpy road covered with various turbulences. When student teachers begin their teacher education, they already possess a strong image in becoming a certain teacher (cf. Izadinia, 2013).  Having had thousands of hours of apprenticeship of observation, student teachers hold beliefs and ideals about teaching, studying, and learning, and about the teaching profession. Thus, it is not surprising that they are faced with struggles, dilemmas, doubts, contradictions and uncertainty, both personally and professionally, when they integrate into teacher education (cf. Pillen et. al., 2013)

This case study illustrates the complex construction of teacher identity by following the four-year journey of one student teacher in qualifying as a primary-school teacher in Finland. The study exemplifies how Nora (pseudonym) negotiated her developing teacher identity through various turbulences of struggle and doubt. We followed her teacher identity construction from a perspective of dialogical self theory in which identity is seen to consist of the self with different I-positions that are expressed through their own voices (Hermans & Kempen, 1993). The positions are linked to an individual’s experiences and social relationships. I-positions may be internal or external. The internal I-position comprises the individual’s perceptions of him/herself, for example I as a person, I as a foreigner, I as a student teacher, I as a friend, I as a worrier and I as an idealist (cf. Coombs, 2018). External I-positions are the internalized voices of others, for example, my teachers, my relatives, and so on.  In addition, the generalized other by Mead stresses social groups, rules and conventions regarding external voices (Akkerman & Meijer, 2011, p. 314). Each I-position is driven by its own intentions and they  do not have to be harmonious, but may instead be contradictory (cf. Akkerman & Van Eijick 2013). This approach is fruitful especially when the struggles of a teacher’s work is considered: the multiple I-positions allow us to see diverse and different perspectives (Leijen, Kullasepp, & Toompalu, 2018).

Although various studies relating to student teachers’ teacher identity development have been conducted over the years, the aim of this case study is to dive deeper into this complex phenomenon. The research question of our study was: How does Nora negotiate her teacher identity through her struggles and doubts during her four years of teacher education?

This study is part of a larger longitudinal research project investigating the development of a teacher identity among 12 Finnish and 18 Austrian student teachers throughout their initial teacher education. Nora was chosen to our case because she clearly brought out her reflections on the development process, including her doubts and struggles. The data consists of four thematic interviews lasting approximately 45-60 minutes, conducted consecutively by one of the Finnish authors after every academic year throughout the period of teacher education. The main interview themes were being a good teacher, good teaching (and learning), learning experiences in teacher education, and future expectations regarding the studies as well as working as a teacher in the future. The final interview involved two parts: the above-mentioned themes and a retrospective task in which the participant reflected on her entire teacher education through experiences that both strengthened and weakened her teacher identity. Member checking was offered, thus Nora was able to read the data analysis and give her feedback. Nora accepted all the interpretations. The study followed the ethical guidelines of the University of Helsinki and the Finnish National Board on Research Integrity (TENK) The qualitative data was analysed in two phases. First, three Finnish–speaking authors of this article went through Nora’s four interviews, which had been transcribed verbatim, and all the units of analysis that illustrated struggle and doubt were defined together. The analysis was conducted in MAXQDA, and together codebook for the general data analysis within the research project were developed together. The second phase was conducted by the first author. First, each narrative sequence that demonstrated doubt was coded as a certain I-position negotiation including internal or/and external I-positions. After that, Nora’s narrative was retold (Lieblich, Tuval-Mashiach, & Zilber, 1998). The particular interest was in illustrating how the I-positions moved, occurred, conflicted, retreated and configured in the negotiation space (Ligorio & Tateo, 2008).

Analysing the data by using Dialogical Self Theory, this study provided a rich and nuanced viewpoint. The most important notion in our study was that struggles with various I- positions are mostly rooted in fundamental questions relating to personal matters, not just issues of how to teach effectively or working with young people. Nora’s teacher identity development throughout her teacher education revealed four intertwined I-positions that should be carefully supported in teacher education: I as a person, I as a foreigner, I as an academic student and I as a teacher. For example, Nora felt unconfident at the beginning of her studies because her nascent I- as academic student teacher - position made her question her teacher identity. Thus, teacher educators should be aware that new positions have to be supported in order to create a sense of self-efficacy at the very beginning of the studies. Furthermore, Nora’s journey throughout her teacher education illustrated deeply held beliefs that were related to her I as a person-position. Her demands on herself caused strong turbulences and made her question her ability to become as a teacher. this requires teacher educators also to concentrate on student teachers’ personal identity with emotions. Based on our results, in the light of the four I-positions mentioned above, we consider how teacher education may promote the development of student teachers' teacher identity.

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